Walking into (or logging onto) your first therapy session can bring up a mix of feelings. Relief that you’ve finally taken the step. Nerves about what to expect. Curiosity about how it will go. Maybe even a little self-doubt. If that’s you, you’re not alone. Almost everyone wonders, “What is the first session really like?”

 The short answer: it’s less intimidating than you might think. That first session is about building connection, starting a conversation, and giving you space to share what feels important right now.

Building Rapport in Your First Therapy Session

Therapy works best when you feel safe with the person sitting across from you (or on the screen). So the very first goal isn’t to “fix” anything. It’s to get to know one another.

Your therapist will probably start with some gentle questions or even small talk to ease into things. They want to understand what brought you in, but also who you are as a whole person—not just a list of struggles. 

Think of it as building rapport, or simply getting a feel for whether this relationship feels supportive.

Common Questions in a First Therapy Session

Most first sessions include open-ended questions. Not to quiz you, but to help your therapist start putting the pieces together. You might hear things like:

• “What made you decide to start therapy now?”
• “Tell me about your support systems. Who do you feel you can lean on?”
• “Whatever you’re comfortable sharing, how would you describe your childhood and relationships?”
• “How are work, health, or family life impacting you right now?” 

Some of these may feel simple, while others may feel a little heavier. There’s no pressure to answer everything fully. It’s okay to say, “I’m not ready to go into that yet.”

This information helps your therapist determine what to dive deeper into in future sessions and in what order of priority, so the work feels manageable rather than overwhelming.

RELATED: EMDR in Virtual Therapy Sessions: What to Expect

How to Know If a Therapist Is the Right Fit

Another important part of the first session is noticing how the therapist feels to you. Pay attention to things like:

• Do you feel heard and understood?
• Does their style—gentle, direct, collaborative—match what you’re looking for?
• Do you leave the session with a small sense of relief or clarity?

Sometimes you’ll know right away that it’s a good fit. Other times, it may take a few sessions to be sure. Both are normal. 

Typically, by around three sessions, you should have a clearer sense of whether this therapist feels right for you.

First Therapy Session Logistics: Confidentiality, Scheduling, and Fees

Your first appointment will also include some of the basics, like:

• Confidentiality and informed consent
• Scheduling and communication preferences
• Payment, insurance, or fees

These pieces may not feel as personal, but they’re important. Clear expectations and boundaries help build trust from the start.

What Happens After Your First Therapy Session

Toward the end of the session, your therapist may share some of their initial thoughts and talk about what therapy could look like moving forward. 

Together, you’ll usually decide how often to meet—weekly, biweekly, or another rhythm that makes sense for you—and schedule your next (or sometimes several) appointments.

You won’t leave with everything mapped out right away, but you should walk out with a sense of direction and reassurance that there’s a plan in place.

How You Might Feel After Your First Counseling Session

It’s normal to walk away with mixed emotions. Some people feel lighter and relieved. Others feel a bit raw, or wonder if they “said the right things.” 

All of that is part of the process. Therapy can stir up emotions at first, but over time, those conversations usually start to feel grounding and supportive.

Final Thoughts on Your First Therapy Session

Your first therapy session isn’t about fixing everything in one hour. It’s about starting. It’s your chance to see what it feels like to be fully listened to, to share at your own pace, and to decide if this is the right space for you.

If you leave feeling seen, supported, and a little more hopeful than when you walked in, you’re already moving in the right direction.

Starting therapy is an act of courage — and it’s normal to feel a mix of relief and nerves when you take that first step. You don’t have to know exactly what you want to work on or have the “right” words to say. Your therapist’s role is to guide the process, not to judge where you are starting from.

If you’re thinking about therapy but unsure where to begin, our Get Matched program was designed to help. We’ll learn a bit about your needs, preferences, and availability, then connect you with the therapist in our practice who’s the best fit — so you can feel comfortable from the very first session.

You can read more about our approach or reach out when you’re ready. The hardest part is often getting started — and you don’t have to do that part alone.